RJ
LEAD RESEARCHER
Prof. Dr. Dr. RJ
Chair of Handy Dandy Science. Renowned for groundbreaking claims about his own hands and an unwavering commitment to not submitting photographs.
Evidence pendingEST. 2026 · INDEPENDENT RESEARCH INSTITUTION
Advancing the science.
Against all odds.
Committed to bold hypotheses, strong convictions, and the occasional supporting evidence.
STAY HARD ✦ AIM HIGH ✦ NEVER GO DOWN
01 / ABOUT THE INSTITUTE
Excellence is
not always provable.
The Department of Independent Curiosity & Knowledge (D.I.C.K.) is a prestigious institution dedicated to asking difficult questions and confidently avoiding straightforward answers.
Our work is powered by coffee, occasional beer, and a deep belief in the importance of our own research.
0Verified hand photos
100%Academic confidence
MonEquipment maintenance
02 / OUR PEOPLE
World-class minds.
Interesting methods.
SS
INDEPENDENT RESEARCHER
Sexy Spice
Chief skeptic, independent evaluator, and relentless defender of scientific standards. Famous for the revolutionary principle: “No proof, no conclusions.”
Ethics approved**Approval issued by the researcher herself.
03 / RESEARCH PROGRAMS
Questions that matter.
Results that vary.
The Handy Dandy Hypothesis
Can exceptionally beautiful hands exist without photographic proof? The debate continues.
STATUS: UNDER REVIEWCaffeine & Scientific Integrity
Preliminary observations suggest that all important decisions should be made after coffee.
STATUS: PEER REVIEWED BY USBeer-Based Funding Models
When budgets shrink, spirits must rise. Our fiscal resilience strategy is being tested tonight.
STATUS: AFTER BEER04 / THE D.I.C.K. TIMES
Independent scientific journalism.
Since Monday.
BREAKING NEWS
THE D.I.C.K. TIMESVOL. I · NO. 001 · 2026
Scientific scandal rocks prestigious D.I.C.K. Institute
Professor accused of making unsupported claims about his own hands.
A serious conflict has broken out after Prof. Dr. Dr. RJ repeatedly declared his hands exceptionally beautiful and “handy dandy,” yet failed to produce a single photograph.
Independent researcher Sexy Spice has demanded a full investigation. “No proof, no conclusions,” she stated.
In an official response, the professor questioned the researcher's qualifications and assured the press that his equipment meets the highest scientific standards.
The Ethics Committee has opened an investigation. Unfortunately, the institute is closed on Mondays for equipment maintenance.
THE PRESS ROOM / OCTOBER 26, 2026
The Official Scandal Archive
All the news that's fit to print. And several things that really aren't.
DISPATCH 002 · OFFICIAL STATEMENTThe Professor RespondsQualifications challenged. Evidence still missing.Read statement
Dear members of the international Press.
Firstly, thank you for taking the time to attend this press conference.
Secondly, the so called independent Researcher Sexy Spice has no official degree in validating Hands. Especially does she not have a degree in Handy Dandy science like myself.
Thirdly, after so many years in Hand science, can I assure the ethics Committee, which I respect and have high regards for, that all Data collected and analysed was done with the highest Handy dandy science equipment.
More updates after Beer.
EDITOR'S NOTE: A degree is not a photograph. Our request remains open.
ISSUE 002 · BREAKING NEWSCHAOS AT D.I.C.K. INSTITUTE!Professor declares adult-free zone after Sexy Spice leaves.Read full story
A scientific scandal has turned into a wild party at the famous D.I.C.K. Institute.
After independent researcher Sexy Spice suggested that someone at the Institute should behave like an adult, Professor Dr. Dr. RJ made a shocking announcement:
“Sexy Spice is out! Adult-free zone! PARTY!!!”
Witnesses report that all scientific work stopped immediately.
The Ethics Committee has disappeared.
The research budget has reportedly been spent on beer.
Scientists are dancing on tables, and nobody remembers where the safety equipment is.
Professor RJ insists that everything is under control.
However, our journalists would like to remind readers that the Professor has still not provided photographic evidence of his famous hands.
Sexy Spice was unavailable for comment.
More updates when someone becomes sober.
DISPATCH 003 · PRESS REBUTTALProfessor Denies Everything. Mostly.Vacationing ethics committee, bulk beer, and app restrictions.Read rebuttal
The adult free zone is a control study. This is important work for Science.
Sexy spice is secretly dancing naked on the table.
We have everything under control.
Ethics Committee has Vacation. They have not disappeared. This is fake news.
Inflation caused higher Beer prices. So we were forced to buy in bulk.
Also, photographic evidence is not possible due to app restrictions. We will inform the public when there is an alternative method.
More updates after shots.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Alleged table dancing has not been independently verified. Neither have the professor's hands.
THE D.I.C.K. TIMES · FACTS PENDING, CONFIDENCE UNCHANGED · NO PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE RECEIVED
05 / SCIENTIFIC TRANSPARENCY
Extraordinary claims
require extraordinary photos.
Help our scientists settle the most pressing controversy in modern hand research.
Submission does not guarantee scientific credibility.